I had a powerful cleanse this morning, a huge outpour of tears and emotions knowing that I am not an outsider from the family group, after watching a video: [Hellinger Family Constellation Introduction with Emily Waymire, 2002} .. with a sense of belonging, I accepted myself as what is with my family lineage, I reclaimed and honoured my brother who was miscarriage before my birth, I let go and carry on..
Here is a short sharing on Family constellation and guilt..
[Listen to the audio here:]
Hello there, today is 30th November 2020, the last day of November. And also, today it’s a very special day because we have lunar eclipse tonight. And it’s full moon session, so it brings us into a very special day where we could utilise the full moon energy to release and let go energetically, mentally, emotionally, physically, the things that has been that we have been holding back. And dive into the shadows and to see what we needed to release at this time today I want to share something about guilt and shame.
This morning as I was reading the blog post from “Yo Soy”, the topic is “Abortion” and the writer-Matias shared something about family constellations ,how one are affected by our family blueprint, our ancestors blueprint and it got me really curious so I went to check it out, to go into details, what really is family constellation, and to my surprise it is a very powerful healing therapy which I would recommend you to check it out if you have not experienced it yet. And it’s very much related to today’s topic about guilt and shame.
Now, just a bit of introduction about family constellation, it says that.. first, there are three orders of love and the first order of love is that everyone of us belong to a family group right, and we have this need of belonging to a group, a family group. And each of our family has a group soul.. family group soul, which is a Morphic field around us, the family members, linking us back to the ancestor lineage, to our dear ancestors and also to the upcoming generations. It links us as a field, so, when there is someone who feels that they are deviated.. they are not aligned with the group’s beliefs or visions, one would say or view themselves.. perceived themselves as the special one and the outsider, for the case of homosexual, for the case of leaving an abuse family, as in leaving from the group – the family group. And thus, that will create guilt, deep guilt. It also works for one who are growing, whoever who is growing there are a subtle or a little or a lot of guilt, from leaving from, deviating from the original group principal. Thus, guilt .. created from that, and, let me recall what it is..
In terms of.. let’s say, we put [an] example – homosexual, so when one like me, if I’m homosexual and I will perceived myself as.. someone [that] my family clan does not accept this preference, I would perceived myself as an outsider, and thus, this will disrupt the flow, and very interestingly, it is me who represent the whole family group to bring this issue, this topic, bring this to the light on the table, so that we could resolve this. Because this has happened before, this has happened in.. during one of my ancestors lineage. Ancestors includes uncle, aunties, grandmother, grandpa, and parents and the one before us. So very interestingly, I will be the representation of the family clan to resolve this issue, so that we [are] a whole. Yeah, so it’s very important for this family group to become whole again. And it’s also a very important to note that when I’m homosexual, it is not just my problem, it is from the family group, and.. I will take charge of my responsibility as well as the family group and what [can] the family group do to heal this for the group sake is to accept and love, and healing it.
Relating to guilt and shame, we understand the origin of the word guilt. Guilt came from, the meaning came from .. it means sin, we did something.. failure of a duty and is related to the violation of an internal standard, so therefore guilt [is] created. Well shame, the origin means cheek redness, it relates to the physiological responses when we did something that [is wrong].. the cheek will go red, so it relates to the violation of the community standards. It is very important for us to note that, to see that, because what we have been denying, it always remains in the shadow.
It is a good time for us, let’s take it step by step, think of it this way. Let’s say, you live in a castle, and behind one closed door, you hear noises, you become very afraid of this door and then the room behind it, even to the extend that you walk a long round, just to pass it, because we don’t want to touch this, this is scary, this room. In the mind, this room could contain all manner of evil and bad things, eventually the presence of this room and the unknown sounds come from it became.. begins to haunt you. You know that your entire life, you think of this room is haunted, and you are now trapped. You never show this castle- this room to your guests and even deny its existence. As time goes by, this room contains increasingly camouflage and clouded energy. The more.. because there is a burden of telling more and more lies that weighs you down and you need to create more and more stories to cover the presence of the room. Until you became exhausted and you can’t do it longer, what the stories that you have been telling yourself does not work.. it no longer satisfy, it’s no longer .. going to crack the the film script that we have written so far.
So the pain of living an inauthentic live in which the truth of who we are suppressed, we give in, we give the power to it.. yeah, just give the power until that we have no choice to look into the room of horrors. And going through the hallway towards the room it’s very frightful, because there might be monsters, that is what the mind perceived. What did you find when you go to the room? Instead of monster, we find a little boy or a little girl, sit in a very lonely room, bouncing ball against the wall hoping that someone will notice. Freedom from guilt, to have freedom from guilt is really to enter this room, to go into this room and all the lies and all the smoke screen shatter..will shatter. It is not comfortable because it is very frightening. But, we are not here to ask for comfortable, we are here to ask for freedom.
And a very interesting way that I found from family constellation way of to release, a reflect upon the guilt is, to ask this question:how have you grown in this life? To understand the guilt is the price we pay in order to grow, yeah, [how] we hold guilt with dignity, we honour ourselves along the way where we have come today.
The question is, what have you had to leave behind in order to grow ? Who have you left in order to move on? Were there feelings of guilt when you did? If there is someone from your past with whom you have carried guilty feelings, recall the events surrounding the situation and the person(s) involves. Breath for a several a few breaths, slowing down your body and mind. Quietly, thank them for the time that you have spent together, as well as what you have learned from the relationship. Honouring them and yourself for all the each experience during the relationship. In the mind you say to them : “I will take the gift of this relationship and the knowledge that I gained and build upon it.” “I am moving on with my life in a different way. Thank you.” Over the next few minutes, imagine this person’s image fading away. Consider practicing this practice.. this exercise for a number of times for a several days if needed until you feel completely complete..yeah. This is from The Constellation Approach.
So this is what I wanted to share for today and happy full moon.. yeah happy lunar eclipse if you are to able to witness this beautiful eclipse. And may what your heart’s desires be fulfilled, may you release what doesn’t serve you. Thank you.
- Freedom From Guilt
- Guilt and Innocence
- Hellinger Family Constellation Introduction with Emily Waymire, 2002 [Video]
Enjoy the moon,