Day 5 – Fear & Blocks Towards Silence of “Silence & Sound” Chapter
of Remembering ‘Who Am I’ Series
[Listen to audio here]
[Read the transcript here]
Hello, this is day 5! Welcome to day 5 of “Silence and Sound” chapter of the “Remembering” Series. Today, we will be exploring our habits, our fears towards silence and our blocks towards silence. Awesome. Let’s review on our habits, this is a generalised habit and lifestyle that we all have, that we observe, that I observe throughout life including myself.
What do we do throughout the day? We are constantly connected to the digital devices, we are constantly connected to each other, there is always human interaction, we constantly used the loud, used to news, music, sound, noises. All these are the external habits. Internally, our habits would be our thinking. We are used to this negative thinking.
Do you know that the brain is more wired to negative thinking? When we have the same thoughts again and again, it repeated and this neuron are created with the same thoughts, so having some thoughts will create certain same emotions, so we experience the same emotions, and the body is conditioned to that state of being. We could constantly live in the state of suffering with the same ideas and believes on how life should be, on how suffering I am, so this is the habits we have internally. The same emotions that we’re living, say anger, fear, shame, and guilt. It is said that 95% of our life is automated which are formed with habits, and that’s normal because the brain is designed this way so it saved it’s energy and space. Just to put awareness on what our habits and if you are called to change, to shift the state of the being.
With these habits, if we are constantly striving or constantly hustling bustling busying, we might have an active mind, because we are on the goal, striving, constantly looking for something new, we consume. If we did not express and we did not release the emotions that we feel, it is accumulated. All these emotions of fear, anger, shame are accumulated in the body, so it increases our stress hormones. Our body is stressed, cooked up.
What happened then, we will keep on repeat the same by focusing on the external reality, we want more and just can’t stop. Do you see that picture going on?
Let’s put this aside and let’s shift to look at our fears on silence, which is kind of related. Fear is a very natural emotion that humans have, which is created to protect ourselves from the perceived danger. Going back to the ancient time, even the times where we live in cave and the nomad live in tribes and groups. During the day and night right, why we subconsciously associate silence with danger, with darkness and with forest? It is because since those caves time, during the day time, we can see things clearly, so we know when the predators are here, we know where to go, where to hide, where to fight. During the dark, it is perceived more dangerous, because we can’t see, we don’t know, there is a higher chances of being attacked, so it’s considered danger during the night and in the forest. When we enter silence, it might give a sense of entering this unknown territory, especially for those who have not experienced it and who are not familiar with it. There is this sense of this perception, so the fear of unknown, it brings this sense of not being safe, from our biology, if you’re not aware of it and if you have not experienced it.
All these fears are created for us survival needs, to protect us. When you transcend that fear, when you experience silence by constantly doing so, you are aware of this fear, it will no longer be controlling you, it’s no longer there to tell you to alert you. You are the one who tell your fears that “it’s okay”, you are just here to observe your fear and be with that fear.
That’s fear of unknown, there is another fear we call it the fear of aloneness, of being alone. There is this phobia, we call it monophobia, where there is a fear of being left alone, just can’t stand being alone where you have to have someone or even some noises or something to be with you. Just acknowledge that fear. So we keep ourselves busy, we keep ourselves with distractions because we want to avoid encountering with self, and that happens to me to because since young, whenever I was home alone, I will keep my television on, radio on and when I sleep, I will keep the lights on for some period of time. Until I’m okay with being in silence.
There is a rising trend of a phobia, Sedatephobia, where this fear of being in silence just can’t stand silence, whenever there is silence, one will have panic attack. All of these phobias and fears, why does it happen? Why do we have such phobias? Because it is linked to some traumatic events and experiences we have felt, we have experience through our life, where it is this life, past life or whatever. When you have such fear, it is good to look, to dig deeper, to understand why do I have such fear, and to understand that what can I do about it. It is very normal to feel uncomfortable when we encounter silence at the first time, because it’s just out of our norm. When we are not used to it, it’s normal.
Let’s look at the blocks, what are the hindrance and obstacles towards silence. We talked about the habits, there is internal and external. In terms of internal, we start with the same thoughts, having the same thoughts of negative thinking with the same beliefs and it created the same feelings of fear, anger, shame and then, created the stressed body with accumulated emotions. With these same habits, we constantly feel the same, with this state of being plus the external consumption the habits on the consumption of digital devices without stop. Like the extreme mode, we are constantly on, be with and interact with each other. When you have the same habit that you live everyday, there is no space for internal reflection, there is no space for silence.
The another block, we called it ‘the environment’. I put it ‘the environment’ is because people around us and place, the surroundings are not supportive of being in silence. Because of the habits we have, because of the digital devices. Note that this (digital devices) is a neutral thing, it’s just how we use it. If we use it extremely, frequently, we do not allow ourselves to rest, and that does not serve us. Anything, not just digital devices. When we are constantly into this dopamine consumption, look for excitement, like stimulations and things that makes us excited, we don’t know how to slow down. We weren’t taught how to slow down, we did not educate ourselves and we did not try, we did not experience it with the people around us are not practicing it as well, we won’t get to a point where we will discover the need to be in science unless you really want to change, you really want to shift.
The third blocks is about our perceptions, subconsciously and consciously. Silence, we talked about it, since ancient times, silence is considered a luxury. At that one period of time, when we were in silence, it is seemed that we are escaping from the responsibilities in life. So, what is the perception of silence? Retreating, taking a step back from life, so it is a sign of weakness. Not just that, because you’re not doing anything, you’re being unproductive, so it is seem as a waste of time.
All these perceptions are here because we are not educated on why silence is important, how can we practice silence, and what are the benefits of silence. When you take a step back, it actually recharge your engine and you get to move forward more. With all these perceptions, habits, environment, and the people around, we are just not aware of the importance of being in silence.
The good news is, that all these habits, thinking projections are what we have learned, it is a learned behaviour. Habit is an acquired mode of behaviour. When we learn, we can unlearn. We can shift, we can change. We can cultivate ourselves and rewire our brain to slow down. We can learn to express our emotions, we can release all these emotions, we can start to feel good, relax and we start to allow our body to experience silence. That’s a good news! Awesome. So, that’s for it today. We have done experiencing and a quick sharing on the fears, habits and blocks to towards silence. Take a deep breath in.
[Guided slow down starts at 15:26]