Aloneness & Loneliness

Day 1 on ‘Aloneness & Loneliness’ of ‘Relationships’ Chapter

From ‘Remembering’ Series

[Listen to the audio with guided alignment at the end]

“Which is worth more, a crowd of thousands,
or your own genuine solitude?
Freedom, or power over an entire nation?

A little while alone in your room
will prove more valuable than anything else
that could ever be given you.”

Rumi

To start the ‘Relationships’ chapter, which is very dear to me. I deemed the importance to understand 2 words: aloneness and loneliness, from a perspective. Because the most important relationship is.. with ourselves. So happened, I came upon to this book of Osho, a mystic on Love, Freedom and Aloneness. Hereby sharing the gist of it.

The following sharing is excerpt From: Osho. “Love, Freedom, and Aloneness: A New Vision of Relating.”

A Story

An American tourist went to see a Sufi master. For many years he had heard about him, had fallen in deep love with his words, his message. Finally he decided to go to see him. When he entered his room he was surprised—it was an utterly empty room! The master was sitting; there was no furniture at all! The American could not conceive of a living space without any furniture. He immediately asked, “Where is your furniture, sir?”

And the old Sufi laughed and he said, “And where is yours?”
And the American said, “Of course I am a tourist here. I cannot go on carrying my furniture!”
And the old man said, “So am I a tourist for only just a few days, and then I will be gone, just as you will be gone.”

Alone you are born, alone you will die.

There are 2 words in the dictionary which say they have the same meaning but existence gives them totally opposite meanings. One word is loneliness and the other word is aloneness.

Loneliness is a misunderstood aloneness. Once you misunderstand your aloneness as loneliness, the whole context changes. Aloneness has a beauty while loneliness is poor.

When we are in the crowd we know who we are, our name, profession. Yet, when we realised we are not our name, it was given and we are not our race, then who are you?

The realization

The first thing to realize is whether you want it or not, you are alone. Be aware of your aloneness, which is a reality.

The rhythm: Love arises from loneliness

“In fact, you can enjoy aloneness only if you can enjoy relationship. It is relationship that creates the need for aloneness, it is a rhythm. When you have moved in deep relationship with somebody, a great need arises to be alone. You start feeling spent, exhausted, tired—joyously tired, happily tired, but each excitement is exhausting.”

“In love you moved into the other’s being, you lost contact with yourself. You became drowned, drunk. Now you will need to find yourself again. But when you are alone, you are again creating a need for love. Soon you will be so full that you would like to share, you will be so overflowing that you would like somebody to pour yourself into, to whom to give of yourself.”

“Love arises out of aloneness. Aloneness makes you overfull, love receives your gifts. Love empties you so that you can become full again. Whenever you are emptied by love, aloneness is there to nourish you, to integrate you. And this is a rhythm.”

Aloneness and Loneliness

The aloneness is total and complete. Not loneliness but aloneness. Loneliness is always concerned with others; aloneness is concerned with oneself.


Your aloneness is your essential being. Only pure aloneness gives you a clean sanity, it is so intrinsic, nobody can enter into your aloneness. You don’t need the other; the depence on the other is no more there, you are enough unto yourself.

You can be in the crowd and absolutely alone, but you may be alone and not alone at all.


Aloneness is also one of the fundamental experiences as you enter silence. In silence there is nobody else, you are simply alone. The deeper your silence will be, thoughts will be gone, emotions will be gone, sentiments will be gone — just pure being, a flame of light, burning alone.


This aloneness is worth more than a thousand lives.
This freedom is worth more than all the lands on earth.
To be one with the truth for just a moment,
Is worth more than the world and life itself.

Rumi

May we dance our aloneness, sing our aloneness, live our aloneness!

Celebrating,

Abhya

Published by Abbhya 阿比亚 Pan Vic Qi

One sharing and supporting unity consciousness

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